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A Dating Guide for Women: "Man Talk" Translation
By David Wygant
Special to Yahoo! Personals
Updated: Jun 17, 2008
When you first look at a man and a woman, you are able to notice the subtle differences between the sexes. It is when the two sexes communicate with each other, however, that the differences become truly glaring. This is because one is speaking "he talk" while the other is speaking "she talk."
Where this difference really becomes a problem is when you are in a relationship, and you need to know how to combine "he talk" and "she talk" into "we talk." So I feel like it's my job as a man and as a dating coach to help women learn how to understand "he talk" (or "man talk" as I like to call it), so that they won't need to hire a translator to understand what men are saying.
Women want men to express their feelings. They complain, "Why can't he just say he loves me?" or, "I wish he would just compliment me more."
What you need to pay attention to and realize, though, is that men do tell you they love you and compliment you... they just do it using their own language. Men, in fact, sometimes don't use words at all when they are communicating with you.
This will help you understand men's verbal and non-verbal language.
Sometimes it's not what men say, but it's their actions that are significant.
Sometimes it's not what men say, but it's their actions that are significant. It is necessary for women to learn to interpret men's roundabout way of communicating with them.
Here are 10 things that men say and do, and what they really mean:
1. He starts talking about how crazy all his single friends lives are, and then he tells you that he doesn't miss it at all. What most women will think if they hear this, is that he misses those days. This is not true. He says this because he is looking for confirmation that you feel exactly the same way. He also wants to communicate that he's ready to take the relationship to the next level.
2. Since you recently took him to your family's house for dinner, he can't stop talking about how much fun he had with your brother. What he means here is that he really likes your family, and wouldn't mind being a part of your family.
3. He teases you about things like how clumsy you are or about how you put smiley faces in every one of your emails. What he's really telling you when he does this is that he really likes you a lot. Remember that men are just giant boys... we tease the ones we love and ignore the ones we don't.
4. A man tells you he needs his space. So what does this mean to you? It means that you need to ignore him and not call him. Men love the chase. By not calling him, he'll start calling you and wondering what happened.
5. A man says that he really wants you to meet his parents. What does this mean in man talk? He's telling you that you are his girlfriend, and that he is ready to take it to the next level by getting you involved with his family. This brings us right to the next bit of man talk.
6. When a man calls you and says, "I want you to meet my friends on Friday night," this is as big as meeting his parents. He's introducing you to his pack. It means that he thinks you are attractive and sexy, and he wants to show you off to his friends.
7. After sleeping over at his house several times, he tells you that the next time you sleep over you should bring some things to make you feel more comfortable and a change of clothing. In man talk, that is basically telling you that he's wondering what it would be like to live with you. He also wants your things around.
8. You have plans with him on a Sunday, and you find out that he passed up floor seats to his favorite basketball team to keep those plans with you. What does that tell you in man talk? It tells you that he's hooked... and that you are his girlfriend.
9. He is watching one of your favorite shows on a night you're not together, and he calls you afterwards to talk about it. In man talk, what does this mean? By doing this, he's telling you that he pays attention to you, and he's interested in learning more about you and sharing more things with you. Men generally do not choose to watch "Project Runway" on their own. If we're watching your TV shows, we really like you.
10. He tells you, "I've cleaned today." What this means in man talk is, "I spent the day doing something I dislike more than anything." You need to realize that when a man says this to you, he really likes you. To most men, cleaning the house is just about the worst way he can spend a day.
Once you understand the hidden language and actions of man talk, you'll become far more secure in your dating and relationships.
Once you understand the hidden language and actions of man talk, you'll become far more secure in your dating and relationships. So the next time you go over to your man's house and he looks at you and says, "I cleaned today," you'll know that he really meant to say, "I must really like you, because I can ignore my mess most of the time."
Dating coach, blogger and author David Wygant has been featured on more than 2,000 radio and television shows including Dateline, CBS Good Morning, and MTV
I received this in an email some time back. It is written from a Christian point of view but it is very useful even if you are not Christian.
Is HE the ONE?
THE RIGHT ONE
First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it's made on an emotional one.
"What about love? Shouldn't that be the third?" you ask. No, and I'll tell you why.
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).
The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda. It does not consider things rationally and intelligently it just loves to love! Therefore you have to point it in the right direction: "Above all else, guard your heart,
for it is the wellspring of life" (Proverbs 4:23).
Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance from God, check out his attributes, and then allow your heart to engage.
Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting data. I believe that the biblical design would be friendship, courtship and then marriage. Friendship is two people walking together in agreement and accountability,
learning and growing together. Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to one another exclusively - it is the decisive turning toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your life together after marriage.
But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely to gather these facts.
1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material? Does this man have an intimate relationship with the Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as well as
a not her co-laborer in the faith? Accountability is an important factor. It is imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is your potential
spouse a member of the same family - the family of God?
You need to have common interests and values and agree on the essentials of living day to day. You have a similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic life issues. You have had like experiences in your background. Though there is some truth to the idiom that
opposites attract, like-minded folks fare better together.
Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want to be married and your dreamboat isn't interested, don't waste your time.
Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he's not looking for anything serious , take his words seriously. If he's not going in your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one.
2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man who is right for you will pursue you, and God's hand in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no fleeces, no dead ends.
Scripture says: "He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord" (Proverbs 18:22). Note - who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the beginning of time, God has transported men and women across
the world in order to put them together.
At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene and he will find you. In God's perfect design, the man is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam has no problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You do not need to
strategically place yourself anywhere. You don't have to help a guy out because he's shy!
Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they truly w ant. The man in your life should recognize you as the pearl of great price in his life and
be willing to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If he is passive about gaining your affections, take it as a sign that he is not interested.
Many a woman's mother has suggested that it is a good idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be scriptural if you stop to think about it: "We love him because he
first loved us" (1 John 4:19). Until then, take the ultimate chill pill. You don't need a bunch of men in your life to make you feel all right about yourself.
You need only one man - your man, the one God has selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. So trust God's timing in this. He is the ultimate
matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow yourself to be found. Again - WAIT until the man v oices his intentions. He should take the lead in establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling that he is the one, but God will use the man to set the tone of the relationship. Allow him the opportunity to woo you - this is your first act of submission. Jesus set the standard
for all men to follow. They should love us first. And they should lead the relationship.
3. The man in your life should not desire to move into your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares for your future has made his intentions clear. A man who is husband material has the means to take care of a wife. He is a responsible human being who understands he needs to have something to offer. In short, a man should have the means to be a suitable lover for you.
4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the same feather flock together, yet most women fail to see the connection between a man and his friends. A man's pals tell you a lot about the person that you haven't seen
yet. They reveal things about the guy's character that might be hidden when he is on good behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot forward.
Don't stay focused on the foot, check out the rest of the body!
5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a negative relationship with their mothers, really don't like women, yet
say they do. Unresolved issues between mother and son continue between husband and wife.
6. Remember that a man's family reveals the cloth from which he's cut. Take note and decide whether you want your future with the man in your life to look like his present family situation.
7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom? Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments --including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem always someone else's fault? Does he embrace reponsibility or shirk it? Does he
keep his promises? Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear, some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to check out the man in your life. Time will
always reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.
8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment. As we saw Adam, a man doesn 't need help until he is busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around
him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a most miserable person - and you'll be miserable too if you know where YOU want to go in life.
A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of your achievements because he is floundering in a sea of uncertainty over his own
life is not a healthy partner to have and to hold forever.
Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere along the way, he will resent you and flee from the smothering burden of obligation he associates you with. You want a
man who is firmly anchored in his identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man who will be priest and leader of his home. His first instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you, and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is the man God has ordained for you to complement.
9. Complimentary. Do your talents and gifts complement his? Do his gifts, compliment yours? What about your tempe raments? Do you see the two of you as an effective team capable of bringing blessing to the lives of those around
you? Do your futures mesh? Can you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and effective way?
This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit
and what I already have in my closet. Will my next purchase be a
complimentary addition to what I already have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a proposition. . If the man you
meet makes you feel that you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is wrong.
This is where I ask you to consider the relationship in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your
longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift that you are? The man in your life should consider you a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you he is getting
ready to get blessed big-time! Any relationship that causes you to feel unworthy, unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have to work for
love, is too expensive!
God has called the man to cover, protect and provide not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and spiritually as well. You should be richer in
mind, body and spirit for your union with the man of your dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.
10. Does he have a healthy love and acceptance of himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time to heal from past relationships and has made
peace with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will care for you.
A man's relationship with God is crucial here.. His love for himsel f will only be as strong as his love for God. This is not something that you can
impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your personal priest, he should be leading you to a
richer relationship with Christ.
If he is causing you to compromise your faith and destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your
commitment to God, the relationship is too expensive. Offending the Lover of
your soul, who promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man can't soar in the Spirit,
when the force of your love for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the world, your union will not be able to survive.
So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much is your love worth? You will be able to accept only what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated the worth of your love and decided it was worth His life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes, Jesus sets the example for all
others to follow when He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less from a mortal man? Throughout the Biblical age, men were willing to pay the
cost for what they truly desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows that anything worth having, costs and no one gets a ride in this life for
free.
Original Writer and Source Unknown!
well i think you should go with the flow, you dont want to rush anything, but you still have that respect with whom ever you are dating
Dating and loving someone should not be totally based on sex. Sex is misused and a lasting relationship should not be built on just sex. Ladies remember your body is a temple. It is very precious and should be handled with care. Check out this story about showing affection without sex!
Romantic Moves that won't make you Gag
BY CARA BIRNBAUM
How do you shower your guy with heartfelt affection without making him head for the hills? Cosmo grilled tons of men (spanning the spectrum of sensitivity) to find out the tender, sweet, but not-too-sappy ways to melt their hearts.
You adore your man. You know it, and he knows it. Still, you want to drive the point home. But can you lavish the big lug with romantic vibes without setting off his anti-sap meter? The even bigger question: Do men even care about romance? Hell, yeah. Cosmo discovered that even the most macho dudes will warm up if you hone in on the kinds of gestures that get to them. "Boiled down, romance is the expression of love," says Greg Godek, author of 1001 Ways to Be Romantic. "But since men don't usually go for the traditional hearts-and-frills stuff that women do, you need to think more creatively."
If that sounds like more brain work than you bargained for, relax. We rounded up scores of men and got them to reveal what romantic stuff a girl can do to make them weak-kneed...and have them dying to return the favor!
2. "One girl called my mom for the recipe I loved as a kid, then surprised me with my favorite cornflake-battered chicken for dinner one night."
--Howard, 23
9. "If I'm up late working, my fiancee will bring me a little bowl of ice cream on her way to bed. It's usually not something I was thinking about but love, which proves how well she knows me."
--Chris, 29
12. "Theresa once taped a good-morning message and slipped it into my car's cassette deck at night so I'd hear it on my way to work that morning."
-- Leon, 27
21. "I was vacationing at the beach with my girlfriend last year. I woke up one morning to go for a swim and found my name spelled out in seashells on the sand."
--Dan, 27
26. "Tell me what an amazing time you had after a date. It may seem obvious, but guys are way more insecure than even we like to think."
--Liam, 24
29. "A girl at my gym -- who I thought would never give me the time of day -- left a note on the treadmill that simply said 'I have a crush on you.' Now that we're living together, we have it framed in our bathroom."
--Rob, 25
31. "Cook me the kind of dinner at your place that you'd get in a fancy restaurant. Do the whole candlelight thing -- and let me enjoy it in my jeans and T-shirt."
--Frank, 26
34. "Think of a nickname...a really good one. My girlfriend knows mushy stuff irks me, but I love that she calls me Tumbleweed -- and the best part is, no one but the two of us knows why."
-- Tyler, 28
37. "Make me coffee in the morning, just the way I like it: strong, plain (none of that flavored crap), two sugars, and a little bit of real milk. It's nurturing and simple but totally appreciated."
--Max, 28
44. "Teri and I email at work constantly, but one day, she sent me a love letter -- as in snail mail. It made my day."
--Bob, 28
http://todosamore.com/static/dating_tips/romantic_moves.do
Rules,there aren't any.When you grow to know who you really are you will grow to know that you don't need another person to make you happy.Sharing your life with someone is wonderful, sex is wonderful,but the true happiness is on another level further than you can ever imagine.There is always the ego to contend with so your own spirit is all you'll ever going to rely on to keep you whole and it will need only you to remain in tack.Godly Presence is in you and that's the Greatest love there ever is.....and it is you!
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